I've been so disturbed these past couple of days. Something kept pricking me constantly and I couldn't quite point my finger on it.
Why.
Why is it that THAT particular memory keeps playing in my head in a loop. Despite all the brume, why do I markedly see your arms wrapped around me. From where I stand, it looks beautiful, comforting even. Why can I hear your voice now. That voice I could so easily get lost in, telling me that everything is going to be just how we always wanted it to be. Those few words you held on to blindly with obstinate faith. Do you know that I can still feel your breath on my neck when I think about that day? and yes, I don't think I can ever get over how wonderful you smell.
You were the one who was good with the intuition thing. Not me. You played down my fear by asking me to trust in you. Which I did. I did not listen to the voice in my head which kept telling me that, that day might be the last time Id hold you tight as the most important thing in your life.
I wish I did. I really do.
Because then I would have had the chance to take a step back and look at you closely for one last frigging time.
Every defining angle of your face.
That sexy dimple which cuts deep into your chin.
Your soft and piercing eyes.
And a nose I loved to bite.
Everything about you which made me want to show you off to the world.
But I had to listen to you instead and just take your word for it. "I'm telling you baby, this is just something we have to do now, this is for US to make US happen. Now get on that bus and get home safe. I'm with you. and please smile." I got on that bus. And I swear I did not know that that was the last time you would kiss me goodbye. And I swear I did not know that when you turned and started to walk away, I would never see you look back and wink with that impish smile and throw me a flying kiss. And I swear that I most definitely did not know that there would come a day where you would be nothing but a beautiful memory.
Its exactly been a year since this happened but the picture in my head still holds the power to rip apart the seams I've tried to patch. Do I want us back, honestly, NO. Will I ever forgive you, I don't know. Did it hurt when you told me yesterday that you finally got over me, FUCK YES.
May you get all what you deserve and much more.
I love : how lovely you made me feel inside.
Why.
Why is it that THAT particular memory keeps playing in my head in a loop. Despite all the brume, why do I markedly see your arms wrapped around me. From where I stand, it looks beautiful, comforting even. Why can I hear your voice now. That voice I could so easily get lost in, telling me that everything is going to be just how we always wanted it to be. Those few words you held on to blindly with obstinate faith. Do you know that I can still feel your breath on my neck when I think about that day? and yes, I don't think I can ever get over how wonderful you smell.
You were the one who was good with the intuition thing. Not me. You played down my fear by asking me to trust in you. Which I did. I did not listen to the voice in my head which kept telling me that, that day might be the last time Id hold you tight as the most important thing in your life.
I wish I did. I really do.
Because then I would have had the chance to take a step back and look at you closely for one last frigging time.
Every defining angle of your face.
That sexy dimple which cuts deep into your chin.
Your soft and piercing eyes.
And a nose I loved to bite.
Everything about you which made me want to show you off to the world.
But I had to listen to you instead and just take your word for it. "I'm telling you baby, this is just something we have to do now, this is for US to make US happen. Now get on that bus and get home safe. I'm with you. and please smile." I got on that bus. And I swear I did not know that that was the last time you would kiss me goodbye. And I swear I did not know that when you turned and started to walk away, I would never see you look back and wink with that impish smile and throw me a flying kiss. And I swear that I most definitely did not know that there would come a day where you would be nothing but a beautiful memory.
Its exactly been a year since this happened but the picture in my head still holds the power to rip apart the seams I've tried to patch. Do I want us back, honestly, NO. Will I ever forgive you, I don't know. Did it hurt when you told me yesterday that you finally got over me, FUCK YES.
May you get all what you deserve and much more.
Current mood : emo.
Earworm : Butterflyz by keys (If you have never heard this track please do! there are actually two of her tracks in the video below)
I love : how lovely you made me feel inside.
6 comments:
You loved to bite HIS NOSE?! XD
And aww ;( He doesn't know what he's missing. D;
Lol. um, yes *looks here and there*
and thats sweet of you. His loss =P
whoa. YOU ARE SO AWESOME and that guy is so stupid for saying such a... well, STUPID thing.
sometimes it is fun reliving the really nice moments (like that cute nose-biting thing) but moving on is way more fun plus beneficial. :D
*hugs*
(p.s. i agree with Jodie!)
haha. I would agree with the beneficial part ;)
*big hug* you are adorable!
wow. sometimes you think about all those moments together and wonder why it had to end, but it's probably for the best. he probably never deserved you, because you deserve better, girl! too bad for him.
You also think about all those moments to keep away the bitterness. and Lol. He was good, but yes, I am better =D
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