There's something liberating about speaking out loud and still knowing that your secrets are your own. All your own. Every single one of them.
I miss blogging.
I've been awfully busy and have definitely forgotten how good it feels to just write. To drag anything lurking in my mind to this empty patch of page and watch it squirm. Just like how I am right now.
I'm tired. Not of work. I love what I'm doing. I always believe in enjoying every bit of what I do.
I'm just tired of running away from you. I'm tired of telling myself repeatedly that I do not miss you. No, I do not love you to pieces. I've mastered the art of lying to myself perfectly. You didn't leave me with an option, my ego otherwise didn't look pretty.
One and a half fucking year later. I only have one thing to ask. Why now.
p.s I think I'm back here, hopefully, for good. But this time I'm afraid I only have a sadder me to share.
5 comments:
:( Aw, honey. Well welcome back. But cheer up. :) Try to think about better things. I bet right now, you're thinking "OMFG, JODIE-ANN SHUT THE FUCK UP!" but really, think of better things. Don't dwell on depressing stuff. I'm trying not to as well. :)
welcome back, delilah! >:D<
i hope you're really back for good. *eyes sparkle*
though i don't really get most of what you're talking about, i honestly hope you pull through. i've been through some crap myself and though it's hard, i've been managing.
ah well, i missed you. fer realzz, yo!
@Jodie : you couldn't be more wrong! I rather went "OMFGoodness JODIE ANN ITS SO FUCKING GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU" =) I will take your words, I'm already thinking of better things. I hope the depressing stuff you are trying not to think about arn't too depressing. I haven't gotten down to religiously reading all your posts that I've missed yet. This weekend I will. BEAR HUG.
@Ishashime : ILOVEYOU. And I will explain. When my ex (the one I Was dating for 4 years) and I called it off, I thought Id be fine. Instead of dealing with the break up, I ran away from it for 1 and a half years. And now its hitting me hard. Turns out I'm not over the guy.
There, thats the story. I'm super happy glad that you are managing. Life can be cruel when it has to. You are awesome btw, do you know that? Cant wait to pour over your blog!
<3
@Delilah: ILOVEYOUTOO! so that's what all this is about! ayayay! i hope you can manage along with me, and finally deal with this thing once and for all. i know you're strong and you are very awesome, too! >:D<
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